Funny Motivational Speaker Colette Carlson

I don’t know about you but I have a love/hate relationship with “Call Waiting”, better known as, “Call Rudeness.” The ability to know who is calling in makes me feel a bit psychic, but at times I feel psycho trying to juggle both calls without feeling disconnected from both parties. On a similar note, I received a letter about cell phone etiquette this month (see Dear Colette section below) that got me thinking . . . so this month I encourage all of us to make some caring connections in this age of technology.

I know I’m dating myself here in slogan land but I remember when the expression “Reach out and touch” motivated us to pick up the telephone and connect with a loved one or a good friend across the miles. Sure it was advertising, but it still sent a positive message. After witnessing cell phone madness the past few days, I think it’s high time we do the exact opposite. I believe it’s time to hang up the cell phone (or at least turn down the ringer) and connect with the people standing in the same room!

Some of you may gasp when you read this next statement but neither my husband nor I carry a cell phone. (“Gasp!”) Well, that’s not quite true. I have an original Sprint PCS phone that is larger than my office’s cordless phone. It resides in the glove compartment of my car “just in case of an emergency.” There is no monthly fee, only a usage charge, and I can’t remember the last time I received a bill. Sure, there are times when I would enjoy the convenience of a cell phone but let me rant and rave a bit here why I have not succumbed.

Since I have two daughters, I cannot tell you how many times I am at an amusement park, school event, children’s musical performance, etc. when a parent has stopped “connecting” with their child in order to take a call. These parents disappear for extended stretches of time while their child anxiously glances toward the door wondering whether or not their mom or dad will return in time to see their debut on stage. One father embarrassed his children during the Sea Lion and Otter Show at Sea World by taking call after call throughout the show. Other people were throwing him rude looks, but he was too busy yakking to notice – unfortunately, his children did.

Just yesterday I watched a father flying a kite with his little girl while flapping his jaw on the cell phone for over 30 minutes. He was so wrapped up into his conversation he failed to notice how many times she looked up hoping for feedback and attention. He probably felt like he spent quality time with her, but that’s not what her eyes told me. I know that some of you might be saying, “Yea, but maybe that was an important work call.” Maybe it was. But maybe it was a conversation that could have waited until later. Sure, there are times when everyone needs to take a call, but there are too many people who make every interruption a priority at the expense of those they say are the most important people in the world.

Driving through my neighborhood today I almost got slammed by a woman who lost control of her car while turning. Why? She was fumbling with her cell phone. I’m not one of those people who feel cell phones should be banned from cars (yet!) but this woman needed to dial in and pay attention. She happened to be alone, but I see car after car whiz by with a parent talking into the cell phone instead of creating an environment that encourages their children to open up. I’m sure these same parents have read the studies that suggest that children share some of their best information while being carpooled around by their folks. Yet, they continue to take those “important” calls.

It’s not just parents and children who have lost the connection -- all relationships have taken a hit. I remember when going to lunch with a girlfriend was about jamming as much juicy conversation into a lunch hour, not about hearing, “Excuse me, but I need to get this.” I’ve watched boyfriends and girlfriends patiently wait while their significant other rambles on during their precious time together to the person on the other end of the phone instead of them. I’ve watched husbands and wives go away on vacation only to remain chained to their “cells.”

Some people get it. I have a girlfriend, who works for one of the major cell phone companies, who is respectful enough to put her phone on vibrate and basically ignore it when we spend time together. She understands that connecting with a good friend rules. She doesn’t put me on “hold” every time a call chimes in. She is gracious enough to make me feel special during the rare times we get to spend together.

I know that many of you couldn’t live without your cell phones and maybe that’s why I haven’t taken the leap. I’m no dummy. I know that this time saving device may end up imprisoning me with unlimited minutes. My phone may join in the digital symphony that interrupts the vanishing silence within a store, restaurant or movie. I’ll feel the pressure to stop daydreaming in the airport, singing to the car radio, or listening to the waves when I’m on the beach (yes, people bring their phones to the beach, too!) so I can maximize my productivity. I’m a social queen so I’m sure I’ll be ringing up some activity while sitting in traffic or calling home just to check in. However, if you and I are ever close enough to reach out and touch, I’ll do my best not to answer my phone. Feel free to call me on that.