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Happy HoliDAZE! Ah, the holiday season. The beautiful time of year when we’re supposed
to reflect on the splendors of life all around us and hold close those
that we cherish. That’s what’s supposed to happen. The reality is too
many of us tend to walk around from Thanksgiving to New Year’s in some
sort of ill-humored holiDAZE. It starts with an unsuccessful hunt for a
parking space at the mall, extends to us shouting at the kids to behave
and pointing out that we can’t afford everything they “want” and then
(the grand finale) is feeling deeply disappointed when the item they
most wanted is sold out everywhere. The encore is running out of time
to shop for that perfect holiday outfit that magically conceals a
year’s worth of stress eating. Will the holidays be ruined? Will life
come to a screaming halt because the hottest toy/video game won’t be
under the tree? Hardly. If you disagree and are already deep into stage
four of the above scenario, sit down, calm down and pay attention, my
friend. It sounds like you’ve lost sight of joy. By speaker and author, Colette Carlson, MA Have you ever noticed the joy on a dog’s face when he knows he’s about to go on a walk? How about the pure, unadulterated bliss he receives from a simple belly scratch? What amazingly obliging creatures dogs are. So willing to share themselves with you. Dogs don’t have ‘bad days’, they don’t sit around brooding about what to get Aunt Sally at Christmas time or how much money is in their bank account to finish up the rest of their holiday expenditures. They simply want to be. What a remarkable concept. To receive joy simply for being! You see, sometimes we need reminders to experience the joy of being. Not just valuing your own worth and existence but also appreciating what your existence does for others. Whether it’s the grateful and adoring glance of your animal companion or the smiles and hugs you get off your children every morning when they wake and every night when you tuck them in, you’ve got a lot to be thankful for! What if you’re sitting there reading this and you have neither a dog nor children? Does this make you less capable of joy? Certainly not! You have a life (!) and probably a clean house too. Seriously, though, how about the warmth you hear in your parents’ voices when you call them for no reason at all except to say hi? Or, the squeeze you receive from your dear friends when you get together. Again, the simple things! Here’s an easy one – how did you feel the last time you went out to a mall and had someone pay you an unexpected kindness? From ‘blessing’ you when you sneezed to holding a door for you when your hands were full. That’s passing along the love and joy of the holiday season. You can do the same. Every kindness begets kindness and isn’t that what the holiday season is about? Consider sharing a heart-felt compliment, a smile to someone who’s going through tough times, offer to mentor someone younger, or send an email thanking someone for their help over the past year. Got cut off in traffic today? Someone grab the last sale sweater out of your hand in the mall? Concentrate not on the anger or the envy but on the fact that maybe you were meant to experience that for one reason or another. You see, dwelling on misfortunes is unhealthy and health and happiness go hand in hand. For instance, stress has been proven to lower our immune system, and when our immune system is lowered, we’re more prone to pick up every bug that comes along. Who wants to be sick this time of year? Leave the red nose to Rudolph, and instead slow it down, breathe deep and experience the joy of being. It’s not whether your children will be ogling over the perfect gift Christmas morning but whether you’ve inspired them with your joy of being. If a warm cup of cocoa lights up your child’s face, you’ve done a good thing. Conversely, if your child calls you names and expects, expects, expects, you’ve unfortunately got your hands full and you need to back up and ask yourself, “Where did he learn this behavior?” It’s time to pull the plug on the wanting and light up the simple joy of being. Your child has a lot to be grateful for. Why? Well, he has you as a parent and you can teach him to smile and say, “I am.” Important to joy is keeping your sense of humor. Not everything will go smoothly in life. You didn’t need me to tell you this. It doesn’t run smoothly any other time of year, what makes you think that you can pull the magic together for the holidays? The unexpected happens. That’s why it’s called ‘unexpected’ not ‘entirely predicted and planned for’. All you can do is laugh, deal with it and move on. For instance, one year we were decorating the Christmas tree. We’d just finished putting all the lights on, the beads and garlands and half the ornaments when ZAP! The tree lights decide to go out. What did I do? Did I rant and rage about the unfairness and fickleness of light strands and their fuses? No. I went to bed. I knew it wasn’t the time to deal with this frustrating experience. I wasn’t avoiding the issue (okay, maybe I was a little), but rather waiting until I could correct it with joy. You see, throwing the tree out the window in anger wouldn’t have been a very joyful method of dealing with the matter and doesn’t exactly shed a positive example for my children. Yes, girls, when mommy can’t cope with something frustrating, I simply purge it from my life! Watch out – you may be next! What we ended up doing with our beloved tree was taking everything off and starting over. It was massively irritating but we later joked, “Well, this is the first year we’ve gotten to decorate the tree twice in one season!” How can you incorporate joy into the day? Have each of your family members write down 5 memories, put them in a jar, pull them out during your Holiday Dinner and take turns reading them aloud. What to do when the food’s all gone and you’ve done the washing up? Put in old movies, play charades, sit with a picture book or play cards. Making this type of family togetherness a tradition is far more important than what side dish you make this year. That’s what we all need now anyway, particularly during this tough economic climate. We all want soothed spirits and time with our cherished ones. Not every light on your strand will work. Not every gift you give will be the best one ever. You may have overcooked the ham or turkey. Does it matter? Not in the grand scheme of the season. You see, a decade down the road your friends and family aren’t going to remember how your food tasted but how you were always there for them with a gracious smile and the infectious joy of being the wonderful, creative, original and loving you. So, put down the stack of bills, take a deep breath, reflect on your blessings and don’t forget to go scratch your dog’s belly. Articles may be reproduced with permission from Colette Carlson Communications. |
 
       
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