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Five Strategies to Overcome Awkward Situations Do you know someone that loves to debate certain topics? No
matter how hard you try to avoid the subjects, these individuals seek them
out and drill on them ad nauseum? I'm certain, if you're like me, you want to
scream, "Zip it!" but since speaking your truth includes communicating with
both strength AND sensitivity, it's not an option. It's a difficult situation
and you probably know what I mean. "Come
on! Let's just keep it light," you think to no avail.By Speaker and author, Colette Carlson, MA Face it, no matter how hard you have tried to be nice and work your way around these conversations, these people manage to steer right back to the same issues. Whether they want to borrow money, discuss politics, religion, their favorite sports team or they consistently shoot out bad advice like a wild gumball machine, you need to learn the proper ways to extricate yourself from these tricky situations and put a stop to them. Below I've included some lines to assist you in challenging times. The first method is something called the 'broken record technique' - and, as I've stated before, involves you repeating a version of your 'no' over and over. Sometimes people get it, sometimes they don't. But it goes a little something like this: You're at work and here comes your older work colleague, waylaying you at the coffee machine: THEM: I'd still really like to fix you up with my son/daughter. YOU: I know. However, I'm uncomfortable with blind dates so I don't go on them. Thank you for thinking of me and I'm going to say no. THEM: So you say, but you'd really like him/her! YOU: Again, thank you for thinking of me but blind dates make me uncomfortable so I'm going to say no. THEM: But why not when I'm telling you they're fabulous and perfect for you?! Oh. Stop right there. Don't even get sidetracked into answering any of their other questions. Just repeat your initial assertion: YOU: "I understand that you believe so but blind dates make me uncomfortable so I always have and always will say no." That's it. End of story. No more discussion. If they won't let it go, just repeat and repeat like a broken record. The second technique is one that I learned from Barbara Walters's book, How to Talk to Practically Anybody about Practically Anything, and can be used in conjunction with the broken record method. Say you're being interrogated by someone who loves to discuss politics or religion. THEM: Well, how do you feel about (fill in the blank)? Don't you think it's so off-base? YOU: I appreciate that you think so but I don't discuss politics/religion. THEM: Is it because you agree? You must see that only (fill in the blank) is the way forward. YOU: No, it's because I don't discuss politics/religion. However, you've obviously given the matter a lot of thought and it's been interesting to hear your views. That is a stylish way to end it. You've hopefully removed yourself from further discussions on this most heated of topics. The thing to remember here is that you're not out to belittle their point of view, you just want to end the discussion and hopefully on a good note, with their respect still intact. Now the third example is a classy one that my marketing coordinator, Denise Railey, relayed to me. Denise is a devoted New York Yankees fan and recently a friend of hers, an avid Boston Red Sox fan, was questioning Denise about some issues with the Yankees. When Denise answered quite passionately with, "It doesn't matter. They're my team and I always hold out hope for them!" this friend did not belittle her but said in such a sophisticated way, "Denise, I love your passion; we should go to a game together one time!" That's great. He respected her enthusiasm and didn't demoralize her or her viewpoint. See? We really can all just get along - even Yankees/Red Sox fans. The fourth example could be an issue with a co-worker on a joint assignment in the office. You have two very different perspectives on how to approach the work. When they insist their way is the only way to do it, you can politely point out that it is a joint assignment and finish with, "Your perspective is very valuable and I'll give it some thought." That gives you the time and distance you need to hopefully get back to your desk and truly think it through. Who knows? Maybe their ideas do have some merit and you can incorporate them into your overall plan? However, if they don't allow you to walk away and they demand instant gratification, my fifth technique is a clever way of letting them know that it's not a black and white situation is by saying, "Hmm. This could be a challenge. I'm interested to see how we'll resolve this issue." That tells them that despite your difference of opinion, you're willing to cooperate to make this work. If they are insistent, you may say, "Again, I see it differently and will need some time to consider your input." If they don't want to give you the time needed, go back to the broken record technique. It really does work. Once you put these techniques into practice, you'll see how much easier it is to deal with vocal people with opposing viewpoints in all different social situations. Opposing doesn't have to mean combative when you choose to speak your truth. Articles may be reproduced with permission from Colette Carlson Communications. |
 
       
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