“Go for the Gray” has become my personal mantra to keep me both flexible and focused. No, I’m not talking about the ever increasing gray hairs making their debut through my scalp, but rather the limiting beliefs that occur with black and white, all or nothing thinking that kept me miserable for years. See if you can relate.

               It’s Friday night and I’m exhausted. I’ve spent the entire week making food choices in the name of health and wellness (not one morsel of decadence has crossed these lips), and I’m ravenous. As I cruise home from work I pass the golden arches of McDonald’s which like a mirage now resemble two, lanky French fries doing backbends of joy. That’s it! I’ve been good all week and I deserve a treat. Before I know what’s happening, I find my car wedged between two other vehicles shouting into a box, “Super-size those fries!” By the time I pull in to my garage, all that remains are my greasy fingers, an empty red box and eater’s remorse. What happens next?

               Black and White Thinking: “I just blew it, so I might as well give up. This will never work.” In the past this mentality led me directly to the cupboard for popcorn or chips to munch on while I was killing time waiting for my pizza to arrive. This all or nothing approach took me from a wellness binge directly to a sodium-laced binge that left me the next morning with hands swelled up to the size of catcher’s mitts. Then my ever-present inner voice would say, “Well, you can always start again on Monday.” On or off thinking doesn’t permit a diet to begin on a Saturday – it’s Monday or no way!

               Go for the Gray Approach: “Mmm, those fries were yummy and satisfying – especially after being so strict all week. I chose to eat the fries, and now I can choose to get back on the program. I am not going to let one small choice define future events.” Falling off the wagon isn’t permanent when you think in the middle. We’ve all heard the saying that failure is not falling down but staying down. Gray thinking gets you up and moving more quickly. In the future you could order a Grilled Chicken Salad with light dressing (along with the fries). When you get home you immediately have at your disposal a quick, healthy alternative that might stop your fingers from dialing up your favorite take-out. An even better idea is to build in small, daily rewards so you’re not feeling deprived in the first place.

               Whether its food issues, exercise, interviewing for a new job, organizing your pictures, or simply reading a book, black and white thinking is a non-stop, one-way ticket to Quits-ville. You may never get that job of your dreams if you throw in the towel after one unsuccessful interview. You may never experience the relationship you truly desire if you shut down after getting hurt. You may never start organizing those pictures if you can’t complete the task in one sitting. When you go for the gray you accept that it takes time and you will have unexpected turbulence along the way, but you never lose sight of your destination. And before you know it, you’ve arrived.

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Articles may be reproduced with permission from Colette Carlson Communications.